Ah…February,  the month of love, or so we hope.  So many ask and wonder, what is the deal with love anyway? Words cross the lips of every soul at some point in their lives whether asked positively or negatively. Luckily most of us get to experience this through family connections. Those who don’t experience love through family will at some point, and usually early on in life gain this perspective through friendship.  It is the one state of mind that every soul vibrates towards. Love is, after all, the most addictive emotion that we all strive for.

How is it that some people find love so easily, and others suffer from the feeling of lack of love throughout their lives?

In my experience, I have discovered it boils down to two prominent energies. Both of these energies exist within us. They are the most valuable and sacred of energies because they hold the power to make or break us energetically.

The first sacred energy is known as “Self-Love”. Some were taught at an early age that the most important human to nurture is one’s self. Because without this energy it is very difficult to gauge what true love feels like.

But sadly, some of us were never nurtured to understand the importance of self-love. The most likely reason is because of those who raised us. Through no fault of their own in most cases, those who raised you simply did not have this sacred mindset awareness taught to them. Therefore, creating a perpetual lack of self-love cycle until one brave soul (hopefully you) sets out to break that cycle and changes it for the better for the next generation.

Here are a few examples of someone who may not have been taught self-love: if you find that your relationships either in love, friendship, and or family are always one-sided. Maybe you cater to the needs of others around you more than your own. Now, this can be done healthily, however, the person who does not possess self-love will never see their needs as a priority above others and find that they always have to sacrifice their happiness for those around them.

You likely were not taught how to nurture yourself to the fullest let alone at all. You will feel victimized by others’ lack of seeing your needs but instead of doing anything about it, you continue to support them. Or perhaps you have discovered that you are codependent in relationships.

Here are some codependent traits to look for within yourself.

  • Feeling responsible for solving others’ problems;
  • Offering advice even if it isn’t asked for;
  • Poor communication regarding feelings, wants, or needs;
  • Difficulty adjusting to change;
  • Expecting others to do as you say;
  • Difficulty making decisions;
  • Chronic anger;
  • Feeling used and underappreciated.

According to thehealthyjournal.com, “codependency is usually rooted in childhood. Often, a child grows up in a home where their emotions are ignored or punished. This emotional neglect can give the child low self-esteem and shame. They may believe their needs are not worth attending to”

I should point out you didn’t have to live through a nefarious childhood to have experienced this, it could have resulted from another family member with an illness that took all of your parents attention, or the loss of a close family member resulting in one or both parents being so overcome by grief there was no room left to support your emotional needs. Regardless of what brought you to this energetic state you suffer none the less.

Does this resonate?  Don’t worry this can be corrected.

The road to recovery from this can be an overwhelming journey because if you have been living without self-love then you have to basically reinvent the wheel in your life. But it can be done and with acceptance that you are worthy of this energy you will discover it will become easier with each passing day. This usually does require a full soul rebuild though!

Start with asking yourself when was the last time you were kind to yourself, put yourself first, forgave yourself? If you have no recollection you are an urgent case, I recommend you seek out a professional counselor to support your healing journey. If this is not something you can consider right now, and or if money is the challenge. Then the only solution is to head down to your local library and start educating yourself through the plethora of self-help and self-improvement knowledge that is ripe for the picking.

Above all else pay attention! Do not avoid this life challenge anymore and make excuses why you don’t need help. Trust me you will be grateful when you overcome this. It is life changing energy literally to love thy self.

The second and biggest culprit in depriving us from love in our life is “FEAR” energy! Fear energy has a way of turning the strongest of us into weak minded, overwhelmed, and guarded against love people. Simply because we are overwhelmed by the fear of loss. When we have had love in our life, and have lost it due to a breakup, an argument that could not be reconciled or god forbid loss of life, it triggers us into a protective energy.

This protective energy can be wonderful temporarily to prevent or save us from danger. But the challenge with fear energy there is nothing temporarily about it sadly. It lingers in our subconsciousness just waiting to reappear.

Don’t get me wrong, fear can be healthy for us too. For example: when we feel danger we often retreat. We have learned to avoid dangerous actions for the most part. We all need not look any further than the struggles that our ancestors had to endure. They had to actively search for shelter and food just to survive to the next day. These primal urges are still within us, but because we no longer struggle to hunt and forage for our food, nor find shelter, these energies have adapted to fit our world today. And the intense FEAR energy has been adapted in other ways.

As a result of this, one of the ways it has evolved for some is to create fear energy into a hyper intensive force that stops them from experiencing the one energy we all require to thrive in life and that is to love and or be loved.

I good news is that you and you alone control your fear energy. Fear equals False Evidence Appearing Real. How do you control an energy that seems so out of your control when you are living in it though?

The best way to control our personal energy, and eradicate fear is to recognize that Fear is an emotion. Just as happiness is an emotion. So is anger, and sadness. All of these are emotions that we create and manifest within ourselves to express feelings.

So, logically you must first recognize that you are feeling fear because you are choosing or creating it of your own free will. That is a big pill to swallow especially because it doesn’t fit into the narrative that others have caused this for you or that you lacked something from others to make you think the way you do. You must take back your power and the quickest and most profound way you can do that is to recognize that you alone can do this through the energies you choose to nurture daily.

What you think about, you bring about, according to Rhonda Byrne, author of “The Secret”.

  • What you are catering mentally to fear energy – you will feel fear;
  • If you are catering mentally to sad energy – you will feel sad;
  • If you are catering mentally to anger energy – you will feel anger;
  • If you are catering mentally to self-loathing energy – you will feel self-loathing.


  • If you are catering mentally to possibility energy – you will feel possibility;
  • If you are catering mentally to happy energy – you will feel happy;
  • f you are catering mentally to patience energy – you will feel patience;
  • If you are catering to self-love energy – you will feel self-love.

You get the point; change your mindset and you have the power to change your life. Let’s make the month of February “LOVE” all about connecting to you first so that you can be prepared to connect with others on the same energetic playing field.

One of the best ways I have discovered to learn self-love was the journey of evolving and heightening my own personal psychic awareness. Afterall, getting to know yourself is one of life’s greatest mysteries.  I would recommend you consider taking a course to support you on this journey. Here is one that will definitely broaden your psychic awareness – The Psychic Development Course.

There is no greater power on the planet than the one that helps you to control your thoughts.

Stay shiny peeps!