Full disclosure folks, I have a real challenge with putting my thoughts onto paper. But then I recalled that years ago I had made a pact with myself that I was no longer going to be ruled by fear. I realised I had no choice but to say yes. Well pardon my obvious blunder there, of course I had a choice. I chose to say “YES” whenever something scares me.
Fear is the obvious go to emotion in the moment, in light of what is and has been going on in the world. It is after all a very human emotion. However, like any emotion, too much of any one of them can become overwhelming to our bodies and our mental state. So, I thought I would take the time to shed some light on how I handle my stress when it comes to fear. And share some tips that you can start using today to take back your power when overwhelm creeps in.
Before I do that let me take you back to many, many, many, years ago. I was a very shy little girl. I learned to observe more than interact with those around me. This worked for a long time but as I grew, I started to notice I was being ignored when I had something to say. This was what I refer to as my cocoon phase. When I found my voice and boy “did I find it”. Unfortunately this was not until after my brother passed. I was ten years old and needed answers on life and death STAT. Thus began my incredible voyage of getting to know me. I grew into a strong-minded and even more determined teen. When I look back at those years, I think Geez girl you really had a, “take the tiger by the tale” kind of attitude. Not only did it serve me at the time, but it also caused a ton of hardship. I felt victimized by life. But with that energy came more questions and then of course came an enormous amount of profound amazing lessons. As I have grown over the years, I have found my shadow side has become more intellectually guided. Where in my youth I would jump into the deep end of any situation and worried about the consequences later! And trust me there were many consequences for my actions. As a result, I now have a much more deliberate approach to my fear-based decision making.
I use a number of criteria to help me move away from fear-based thinking and into mindful thinking. Let me share these with you so that you can see how I do it.
- Will this decision have an impact on my husband (insert your closest human here) or myself, either positively or negatively?
- Will this decision support my objectives and goals in life?
- Is it manageable as in “time frame” to execute?
- Will it make me happy?
Once all these boxes are ticked, I can make any decision in a matter of seconds.
I had to come up with a system that worked for me because like a lot of you I was a fear-based thinker. This led to a ton of “Procrastination energy” in my life. For many years, actually too many years I was a, “I am going to do this” kind of gal. Only to find myself getting stuck in the formidable “fear quicksand”. You all know that feeling; I need to do something, but I have no clue where to even begin! Analyzing every reason to not move forward on anything. Of course, I lacked confidence. Hell, I still do from time to time. But now I question my fear, based on the criteria above. It works beautifully to alleviate the pressure I used to unknowingly put on myself. Don’t get me wrong, a lot of things I have started over the years have landed painfully on the floor never to have been picked up again, but those decisions that have worked beautifully, are still thriving in my life today. And if I could go back and change any of the decisions I made in my life I would not change a thing because I am who I am as a result of a lot of those painful lessons.
The bottom line is this, “Fear” is a wonderful thing when you are being chased by a bear! We are hardwired to “Fight or Flight” whenever something challenges our safety. But let’s be honest folks, how often have you actually been in a life or death situation? For some of you this virus will be your very first actual bonafide Bear chase! And for others, well some of you will have fought disease, experienced trauma, and in some cases stared death right in the eyes. But I can guarantee you all that those that have experienced more “bear chase moments” in life are already better equipped to handle fear, but maybe not so good at handling the stress of it.
Why do we find ourselves constantly stressed lately?
Ok besides the obvious of what is actually happening in the world right now! This is not new phenomena, what is different is that the entire world is simultaneously experiencing the exact same thing at the exact same time, give or take a few weeks.
Let’s journey back a few short months ago before any of us felt like we had a science degree in virus-ology. In all seriousness folks, the fears about life were still there except they just showed up in a different form. Maybe it was struggles with your job, health or challenges with a relationship. Whatever it was, it was very present in your life.
We worried if we would get to places on time or if we had offended someone or if we had delivered on the promises that we made. Will I have enough money? We were literally in fear of overload or so we thought until fast forward to Jan 2020 when most of us enlightened folks started tuning in to what started happening in China. That was when shit really started to get real. Or so we thought. Now we find ourselves impacted by the world’s collective consciousness of overwhelm and fear to the ninth degree. Some of us are, bathing in it, anticipating the next bit of bad news.
My point being when this all ends and it will end, we have a choice to make. Will we continue to worry and fear over everything! Or we could actually get this right and put an end to the overwhelm and learn to re-focus on what truly matters to us.
Ask yourself will this worldwide event actually have an impact on “YOU”. Notice I did not say, will it have an impact on everyone around you, I just asked if it will affect you personally? I did that deliberately, because as I see it, a big part of our problem is, we put way too much focus on what others are either doing or not doing. We need to ask collectively, “How the hell has that been working for us lately, or even EVER”? Never before in history have so many humans been overwhelmed and taking drugs to curb the overwhelm, they feel. The suicide rate has skyrocketed and let’s face it all of us are fed up with seeing countless lives wasted or lost as a result of this epidemic. Which I call FEAR. This is the real problem folks. Not the virus!
My point being, that life’s challenges will come and go but it is “fear” that has a solid foundation and is the bedrock of every new, scary or negative thing that hits us. It has not been working for us for so long but yet it remains like an old friend we cling to when times get tough.
The way I see it folks, we have to be the first to make the shift and to then lead by example. Now more than ever we need to stay focused on one’s self. This is the only way for this shift to accelerate through the world. Ok, I know a few of you reading this will say “No Liz, the reason for this all happening is to pull us closer to one another”! Let me stop you and say I agree with you on the concept, my challenge is just not the path towards it, because repeating the same thing time and time again is the definition of insanity. Now more than ever we must band together as one of course. However, until we figure out our own fears and how to overcome them, we will continue with much of the same. This is not selfish in nature, it is a necessity in order to get us to the true mission which is less polarity in the world.
Let’s face it, one only needs to go on any social media outlet for 5 minutes and you will find a disagreeable post. I am guilty of placating my urge to expose injustices almost daily. If you simply feel compelled to expose the obvious then that is warrior energy, however if you are hanging out in anger and resentment this is in a nutshell fear – fear encourages outrage, fear encourages overwhelm, fear encourages victim energy.
So, if right now you are concerned but at the same time in chill mode fully trusting that the Universe has your back and no matter what the outcome of this world pandemic, or if you will survive financially, you are in Warrior energy. Congratulation’s. However, if right now you feel overwhelmed, scared, or nervous because of the current world’s events you my friend are gripped by fear. Now more than ever you need to assess your current situation. Ask yourself are the events of the world happening to you or others? Are you putting yourself in danger by being out in public? If you are an essential worker first of all THANK YOU but ask yourself are you following all the guidelines to keep you safe? What can you do right now to earn money?
I need to remind you the power of your thoughts and feelings now more than ever you must be self-preserving. So, take stock of the feelings you are currently having. Assess your danger and take action to mitigate that danger. Then assess what brings you Joy and then go after it, like you already have it. It is that simple.
The thing I want to leave you with is this. As a world-wide “collective-consciousness” we have manifested this event into reality. Of course, we did not think of the consequences of what a world free of pollution and Of course what more worldwide connectivity would look like. But we often don’t see the forest for the trees.
The bottom line is we are all responsible for this virus. It has zero chance of life without us, hosting it and moving it around. Kind of like fear, it too has no life without us moving it around our minds. So, choose today to be mindful of what is actually present in your life. There is a big movement coming and most of you can feel it. We need to be ready for it and fear, well it has absolutely so much space in the new energy. Well only if you find yourself being chased by a bear! Stay healthy folks, the world is counting on you to pull through this.
Founding Member, The Psychic Associates
“The Soul Expert” Psychic Medium, Certified Life/Soul Coach, President of Psychic Kids United Inc., Writer, Educator & Speaker